Coping with Academic Pressure: When Things Go Wrong

When things go wrong at school, that moment is completely devastating. Whether you failed a major test, had a difficult term, or didn’t get into your dream college or university, academic failure sucks. 

When you’re hit with a setback like this, it’s normal to feel a crushing mix of sadness, anger, embarrassment, and stress. You may be incredibly hard on yourself, thinking you’re the only one who failed so massively. You might feel like such a failure that you want to give up on school there and then.

But here’s the thing - you’re not alone in these feelings, and you’re not the only one who has ever had things go spectacularly wrong. Dwelling in that pit of negativity will only breed more misery. Now is the time to be kind to yourself, adjust, and see the setback as a launchpad that motivates you to keep going and aim higher. 

Failure is data for next time, and it’s up to you how you apply those lessons. The following tips will help you get back on track.

Give Yourself Some Grace

If you’re beating yourself up relentlessly over a failure, pause. Take some deep breaths and show yourself some grace and compassion. Tell yourself, “This is so disappointing, but it’s ok to feel this. I can try my best next time.” Whether you put in enough effort or not, falling short this time doesn’t mean you won’t succeed next time.

Give yourself a break to process any sadness or anger. You’re grieving the loss of your expectation, so feel what you need to feel for a day or two. Do some self-care like journaling, exercising, hanging out with supportive friends, and work through the emotions in a positive way.

Reframe and Refocus

Once some of the initial sting is starting to fade, it’s time to start reframing the failure in a more constructive, empowering mindset. Maybe the setback is redirecting you to a path that will be a better fit, but you just can’t see it yet. Or maybe this is a motivating wake-up call forcing you to adjust your strategy, study approaches, or mindset for the better.

With hindsight, think about whether there was anything you could have realistically done differently or better. If so, get curious about refining and developing those areas without beating yourself up – remember, this is a time to think positively about making improvements in future. Reflect on what you have learned about yourself through this setback, as this may help you move forward.

Next, get proactive about self-improvement. If your grades need work, speak to your teachers or another academic advisor, or investigate getting a tutor. This could help you find out about different learning methods, or give you chance to build a study plan tailored to you. Think about whether you need to reconsider the subjects you are taking to find a combination that fits you better.

Seek feedback from your teachers or mentors, and try to avoid taking constructive criticism personally. View their response as valuable data for approaching a task differently next time.

Find Motivating Role Models

Setbacks are inevitable for everyone. Many successful public figures and celebrities have spoken openly about their failures.

Maybe you can relate to Richard Branson, whose severe dyslexia made school so difficult he left at the age of 15. Or Simon Cowell, who left school without A Levels and worked his way up in the music industry. Or Joss Stone, who decided to pursue her musical dreams by leaving school at 16, and later became one of the richest musicians under the age of 30.

Their stories prove that one obstacle doesn’t make you a failure if you have grit, determination and self-belief. Use these comeback stories as a motivational reminder to try again or find an alternative path to where you want to go. This is a growth opportunity pushing you towards your potential – you just have to dust yourself off and pay attention to the lesson.

Michael Jordan has been open about the number of basketball shots he’s missed and games he’s lost. He said, “I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept not trying.”

Final Thoughts

In the end, academic failures don’t have to define you unless you let them. With self-compassion, a growth mindset, motivation and resolve, that failure can become the fuel that transforms you into your most unstoppable, successful future self.